A Letter to My Beloved

Dear Jesus,

As the clock struck midnight, the only thoughts that permeated my mind was that this is my first Valentine’s Day with my Sweetheart. Although You have loved me even before time began, I feel that this is the first time my heart has loved You back with such an intensity words could scarcely describe it. You and I have history over the years, but we have grown to a place of intimacy that supersedes every other experience I’ve ever had with You. This time I mean every word of love and affection that I say to You. My heart swells with adoration and devotion. I recognize that I not only need You, but I have a strong desire for You. My ardor cannot be quenched. You completely satisfy me, yet my yearning for You refuses to be satisfied–I want more! I just have to have more of You.

I thought I knew what love was. I thought I knew all there was to know about You. But there came a day when I had reached my lowest moment, my breaking point, my ugliest stage…and You looked at me and said, “She’s beautiful. I want her.” No one has ever said that to me. There was a day when I looked in the mirror and despised the person who glared back at me. I hated her to the core. I was ashamed of her. I hung my head for fear that any passerby would see my innermost, vulnerable thoughts and secrets. I didn’t think I was capable to experience real love because of the sin and shame that stained my life. How could I deserve the love of a man, let alone the love of a Holy God who is perfect in every way? It was that day that You picked me up from the dirt I had been carousing in. You looked at me and You weren’t intimidated or repulsed by my filth. You knew You could handle me and my mess. I had been used and abused, yet You chose to have mercy on me and show me the way to holiness. You took a chance on me and loved me without limits! You looked past my pain and decided to show me what true love is all about.

You wanted to love me….and I let You.

How could I not fall for a Man like You? You’ve taken me out of the darkness and shown me the light. You are that Light. Because of You, I am now reconciled with my Father in Heaven. You don’t judge me. You don’t control me. You don’t hurt me. You don’t lie to me. You don’t take advantage of me. You don’t make excuses. You don’t reject me. You don’t belittle me. You’re so unlike anyone else in this world. You’re so wonderful in every aspect. You understand me in ways that no human would ever dare to try. You make me feel like the most beautiful, priceless person in this world. You actually enjoy listening to me talk, even about the most trivial things. You blow my mind every time You speak back to me.

You are more than enough for me. I know some people don’t understand the sort of relationship I have with You. I used to think people who talked about You this way were from a different planet. Now I know that it is impossible to fall in love with the King of kings and the Lord of lords and remain the same…talk the same…behave the same. You’ve completely ransacked my world and turned me into a new person. I’m nowhere near where I want to be, but I know as long as You keep firm grasp of my hand, I’ll never be led astray. I’ll only get closer to becoming just like You.

You’re my everything. You’re my life. You’re my passion. You’re my desire. You’re my affection. You’re my all. You’re my fascination. You’re my purpose. You’re my magnificent obsession. You’re my Lover. You’re my Sweetheart. You’re my God.

On this Valentine’s Day…I dedicate myself to You…all over again. I commit myself to You. I align myself with You. I surrender myself to You again and again and again…

Today, and every day that I exist, I give myself to You….

 

…..and I am so in love with You…..

 

Your Beloved,

Jeida

♫ Now Playing: “Beloved” by Tenth Avenue North ♫

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4 thoughts on “A Letter to My Beloved

  1. Absolutely, positively beautiful. I know that He is smiling and blushing as He read your letter, and I am so thankful to call you my sister. He is such an amazing God, and I’m so glad that you have grown to love Him the way that you do. Have a wonderful day, Jeida! Love you!

  2. Thank you so much, Brittany. I’m just completely overwhelmed by all He is to me. I’m so excited for what will come next…He keeps surprising with more of Himself. It is truly the ride of my life.

  3. I admire your intimacy with Him. Gorgeous. And you say, “I know some people don’t understand the sort of relationship I have with You.” Most of us really do not understand. I don’t think I do (yet), too. But you are right, how could we not fall in love with someone like Jesus whose love for us is perfect…maybe most of us are just being carried away by what our eyes see, and because Jesus is in the Spirit, we can’t seem to understand… amazing. I can see your honesty here. May God bless you more.

    • Dear brother,
      Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your amazing words. I am completely obsessed with Jesus and it’s the result of spending time with Him. It really is a love affair and it’s amazing to be captured by His love. There is nothing like it. There is no one like Him. I don’t expect many people to understand it at first, but that’s okay. Jesus is available to everyone and I want everyone to embrace His love.

      Be blessed!

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