Five Truths for Christian Singles

In February I began a mini-series on singleness as the Lord began to reveal some things to me about His plan for the single Christian. (If you missed them, check them out here: Lessons from Lot & I’m Saved, So Why Am I Single?) In the most recent installment, I listed a few reasons why many of us remain in our singleness season. After that message, I began to feel pressed to express truths for every single person in the Kingdom.

#1: You are not single because God has forgotten about you.

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. — Jesus via Matthew 10:30, 31 

The Bible says that the love of Christ surpasses knowledge (Ephesian 3:19). The love of the Father is unfathomable and mindbogglingly inconceivable. How a perfect God could ever love us when we were yet in our sin is a mystery. But since we know He loves us, we know that there is no good thing He will withhold from us!

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gits to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him! — Jesus via Matthew 7:11.

God not only loves you, but He cherishes you. He could never forget about you, for you are the very reason He sent Jesus to die. You are the motive for Jesus’ mission on earth. God was willing to lose Jesus for a moment in order to win you for an eternity. That same God could never forget about You, even when we forget about Him. You are a jewel in His crown and an important character in God’s love story. You were the “damsel in distress” (this is not just for the ladies, but for you, too, fellas!) whose Knight in shining armor paraded into the city on a donkey. That same King could never forget about His bride.

#2: You are not single because you are unattractive.

Then the Lord will appear over them; His arrow will flash like lightning. The Sovereign Lord will sound the trumpet; He will march in the storms of the south, and the Lord Almighty will shield them… The Lord their God will save them on that day as the flock of His people. They will sparkle in His land like jewels in a crown. How attractive and beautiful they will be! — Zechariah 9:14-16

We already know that we are fearfully and wonderfully made…that every fabric of our being was not only designed and fashioned by God, but His hands stitched and molded us into the person you and I are today. God has been dreaming about you since before the world was made. How He longed for someone who looks exactly like you! So, out of His bosom you were formed. Not only that, but Zechariah depicts God as a warrior in this passage. He swoops in and saves the day and He goes on to note how amazing and beautiful those jewels in His crown are. There is no possible way that you–God’s finest handiwork–are single because you are not attractive. You are a wonder to behold. As you fashion your spirit-man to look more like Jesus, that glow will turn heads left and right. Don’t think you’re single because of how you look or because (you think) no one notices you. Perhaps, the onlookers don’t have the capacity to fully appreciate the amazing creation that you are. Even if they cannot see your wonder or behold your beauty, you stop God in His tracks every time He looks down on you.

#3: You are not single because you have baggage.

Do you want to know how I can dare to say this bold statement? I’ll let you in on my secret. We all have baggage! There is not a single soul in existence who does not suffer or struggle from some sort of baggage or wound. Whether self-inflicted or afflicted from external forces, we all have baggage in our trunk. The good news about this is that God is a healer!

But for you who revere My name, the Sun of righteousness will rise with healing in His wings. And you will go out and leap like calves released from the stall…on the day when I do these things, says the Lord Almighty. — Malachi 4:2,3

God has likened us as young calves who have been locked away in a stall…that when He comes and heals us from our baggage, we will leap and gallivant with freedom, exuberance and the testimony that God has redeemed us and removed the reproach of baggage! No, my dear, you are not single because of your baggage because we all have baggage, and God is faithful to remove baggage and all of the damage that is associated with it.

#4: You are not single because there are no more eligible men or women left.

This is a lie that the devil wants you to believe in order to coax you into settling for the next person who makes his or herself available to you. There are so many men and women of God swarming around this world, but that’s not the issue and it should not be your concern. In your waiting season, your delight should be in the Lord. Trust Him. When we complain that there is no one left for us to marry, we are ultimately expressing our unwillingness to trust the Lord to write our love story. How silly that we would dare second-guess the Author of our life’s story when He knows the end from the beginning! So, yes, there are plenty of amazing people who God is yet preparing for us, but don’t get in a rush to end your singleness so that you can snag yourself one of them. Sisters, every good man is not your man. Fellas, every beautiful lady is not yours to have and hold forever. Wait on God to lead you to the one you’re supposed to finish your life’s mission with. Delight in God and stop looking!

#5: You are not single because you are inadequate.

Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. — Jesus via Matthew 11:28-30

To my dear friends who suffer from feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, incompetence, or just a sense of impossibility that marriage or a healthy relationships could ever be a reality in your life…I leave you with this simple, yet powerful truth. God gives strength to the feeble, hope to the hopeless, and comfort to the weary. It doesn’t matter what you have experienced in life, you are not inadequate and a healthy relationship is in God’s dream for you! If you are a believer in Jesus, the Bible says you are more than a conqueror! Every good thing is available to you and I, not because of anything we have done to deserve it, but simply because of what Jesus did for us on the cross. God loves marriage. He desires love for you because He is love. Love doesn’t need you to perform in order to earn it. You need not jump through any hoops. All you must do is let God embrace you in His arms and envelop you in His inconceivable love. That love heals, protects and completes us all through and through. It will wash away every thought and lie from the enemy that tells you that you are inadequate and somehow don’t deserve true love. God’s love will rebuild everything in you the devil tried to destroy…and when that love does its perfect work, God can trust you in the arms of a man or woman who is almost as crazy about you as God is.

I have given you five reasons why I know that you’re not single, but I will close by giving you one reason why I know you ARE single right now. It is this beautiful truth:

You are single because, for the time being, your God wants you all to Himself.

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31 thoughts on “Five Truths for Christian Singles

    • Thank you so much for reading this, Britt! You’re the best. Thank you SOOOO much for sharing this message with the world. I love you lots! It’s right on time for me, too. 🙂

  1. Wow girl! God has given you a GIFT! So wonderful that you are using it. This was incredibly written and such an encouragement to my soul — so glad our paths have cross — I look forward to seeing how God uses you for his GLORY in the future. Hugs!

    • I am so honored to able to use my gift to minister to God’s wonderful people. He is really the reason for everything that I do and for every word that I write. If not for Him, there would be no me. I am elated for what He will do in YOUR life, as well! He’s worthy, isn’t He? 🙂

  2. I am in love with this post Jeida. There was a divine plan the relationship we are building, the night we met. I really appreciate the angel you have been to me. I pray that God continues to bless you and pour more into you in order for you to pour Him into others. I love you my boo thang

  3. This is so true! It’s so funny that God recently put this on my heart, that He wants me all to Himself right now and He had to remove a few people for me to finally understand that! Great article!

    • God’s ultimate desire is to have our heart. He wants to be the center of our affection, which means everything else in our life must revolve around Him. Every desire must be subject to Him…even our desire to be married should bow to Him. The great thing is that He loves us so much that He will give us those submitted desires as long as we fully delight in Him. He’s a wonderful God. 🙂

  4. I have really been encouraged by reading this post. One of my FB friends shared this on his page. The Lord knew this is what I needed to read. May He continue to bless you as you allow Him to work through you. If you allow me to I would love to refer to this at the Singles Ministries Sabbath we’re having at my church May 19th. Please e-mail me simplylici@gmail.com God bless!!!

    • Alicia, thank you so much for reading this message. God is so good and I’m elated that He directed you to this site. Thank you for your blessings and I pray the same thing and MORE over you! I will email you shortly. With sisterly love,
      Jeida

  5. This is saturated with God’s Word and is the absolute truth! Thank you for being obedient and allowing the Holy Spirit to speak through you, Jeida! There’s no doubt that God will get the glory from this post! It’s DEFINITELY worth reading, sharing and rereading! LOVE!

      • No problem, it was such a blessing. I see that my good friend/sis Jess M commented right above me! She’s the one who shared this blog post with me!!! I’d love for you to check out my blog onlymedany.blogspot.com, and please stay in touch.

        Peace and Blessings,
        Dany

  6. Wow! You are preaching good stuff! Although I’m married, it’s refreshing to see a blog like this to encourage singles in this season of their lives. I tell singles all the time “you are single & significant” Matter of fact God can use a single person all the more because of they don’t have a spouse to take care of.

    • Exactly! Thank you, Bro. Shon, for taking time out to read my blog. It means a lot. I am sharing this with as many people I know because I believe this is God’s heart toward singles. He wants us to remember He is God and that He has not forgotten us. Thank you again! Feel free to share this with anyone you think this might minister to. God bless.

  7. Beautiful daughter of God!

    I just wanted to join in with the chorus of people that were blessed by this devotional. I was also encouraged! This was so wonderful to read. A message that we all need to embrace and thank our heavenly Father for. He is so good and worthy of all our love and praise. Please keep writing and using your gift to glorify God – it’s having a significant impact! Jeida, I just want you to know that you are such a beautiful women of God, a jewel for all your sisters to watch shine and a treasure for your Father to cherish, forever! May His goodness and mercy follow you all the days of your life.
    Love you!

    -Angelique

  8. How can a person know whether their singleness is apart of God’s plan or if it is a result of their disobedience/stubbornness?

      • Hey Jeida! I’ll reword my question this way: how can a person (who wants a relationship) know what God wants them to do while they are single? Or if that question isn’t clear, then try this one: how can someone know whether God wants them to be single for the time being OR God is wants them to take certain action toward getting into a relationship? Why isn’t the Bible clear on dating?

      • I’m so, so sorry for my late response! Charge it to my head and not my heart.

        1) I’m glad you asked that question! I’m going to actually write an entire blog about what to do while waiting. I’ll also be talking about what the singleness ministry entails. But, what I can tell you now is that God wants you to delight in Him and fall in love with Him while you’re single. You should check out my post called, “I’m Saved, So Why Am I Single?” https://apearldefined.wordpress.com/2012/02/15/im-saved-so-why-am-i-single/ It may answer some of those questions for you.

        2) EVERYONE has a season of singleness. While you’re single you should cultivate faithfulness (I’ll explain this in more depth in my next post). Essentially, this means that while you’re single you are making changes and preparing yourself for a life with someone else. While you’re following HARD after God (which should be every unmarried person’s desire), you should be fixing the areas in your life that need fixing. Get your finances in order. Get your own place. These are just some of the things that men could be doing, as my pastor has said. There are practical and spiritual things that need to occur in a single person’s life before he or she is the most prepared for marriage. I think many people are ready for a relationship/marriage but they’re not necessarily prepared for it.

        Although the Bible isn’t clear on dating (since dating as we know it did not exist in the periods the Bible was written), what is VERY clear is marriage and what God wants marriage to look like. The Bible is clear on what type of woman you should be looking to marry. Simply remember that God wants your heart. Give Him that and become infatuated with Him. He’ll make everything else make sense. He’ll make clear who He wants you to marry. Trust me.

        Did that help?

      • That definitely answered my question, in full. Thank you. You are a talented writer, you know?

      • Praise God! I also wanted to address one other thing. In your original question you asked if God would use singleness as a result of disobedience. Singleness is a GIFT and is the furthest thing from punishment. I want you and anyone else who may be reading these comments to know that God isn’t dangling singleness over our heads because we are terrible at relationships or fallen into sexual sin, or because He’s being mean and doesn’t want us to have fun or find love. That goes against His very nature. God isn’t trying to withhold anything or anyone. He just wants to birth something amazing in us before He allows that person to come into our lives. The more we fight that process, it could determine how long we’re single. But, it’s all about God and falling for Him first. He’s the one who can teach us how to love and protect our future spouses. He’s the one who can make us into something beautiful so that our spouses will be blessed by us. Thanks for reading! I’m humbled that God can use me through this gift He’s given me.

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