Jesus sacrificed His life for all of humanity so that we might have the opportunity and the power to be reconciled with the Father and experience eternal life. He saved us from all of our sins. We no longer have to be bound by sin. Sin once held us as captives; sin was our master. Jesus snatched the power of sin and death from the enemy and breathed new life into us. Jesus is a HERO! He saved the day!
Jesus is a Gentleman. After He paid the price for the most amazing gift we could ever be offered, He does not bombard His way into every man’s heart. He doesn’t force Himself into lives where He isn’t welcome. He stands at the door and knocks. Isn’t He so sweet?
Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. –Jesus via Revelation 3:20 NKJV
When Jesus comes into your life, He wants to wine and dine you. He wants to commune with you. He wants to be intimate with you. He wants your undivided attention. He wants to clean you up and make you into His image. After all, He died to spend every moment of your life (and beyond) with you. He was so desperate for you that He sacrificed His own life; He laid it down because the Father couldn’t bear the thought of spending eternity without you. Now that He has you He wants to romance you. He longs to sweep you off of your feet. He wants to make love to your heart. He wants to be your First Lover. He wants you for Himself. That is the point of salvation.
So, why is it that so many of us get saved and the first thing we expect from God is a relationship?
The church is widely known as a place in which one encounters the presence of God. Over time I have observed that many people attend church with one eye on God and the other eye wandering around the church looking for potential mates. (Some people, dare I say, don’t come to church for God at all) Singleness has become the most despised stage of life among people of all ages. There are external pressures attacking singles from every side, probing and questioning why they aren’t dating or married, when they plan to get married. This, in turn, indirectly discourages contentment in singleness.
We know the scriptures that say, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing,” (Proverbs 18:22) and, “Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33).” Sometimes we, as singles, use these scriptures as a God-given word that will get us away from the grips of singleness. The questions I want to pose to my fellow singles are:
- Why are we so eager to escape singleness?
- Rather than asking God why we are [still] single, why not ask Him why He wants us to be single?
“But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world, how he may please his wife…The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit…and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.” –Paul via 1 Corinthians 7:32-35
Your life should neither start nor stop with a relationship. A relationship is a beautiful gift from God, but many of us fail when we begin to think that we are insufficient or inadequate unless we’re in a relationship or married. That is a lie! Some of us are eager to abandon singleness because marriage is viewed as the only label of success in a person’s life. (Note: There are more reasons why some singles are eager to be married such as sex, comfort, security. This is simply one of them.) If that were true, will you have fulfilled your life’s destiny when you marry your future spouse? No! Marriage should be a step toward the fulfillment of God’s plan for your life, but it should never be a stopping point. There is more that God has in store for your life. Before I move on, I want to tell you that YOU, right here in your season of singleness, are created in the image of God and you have a purpose in the Lord. He wants to birth ministries through you because He has people who need to be touched by Him through you. These are people who only you can reach! You are not insufficient! You are not inadequate! There is nothing wrong with you because you are single. God has not forgotten you; He is working on the inside of you and creating amazing wonders that will come forth from you. Be encouraged!
With that being said, choose to be content in your season of singleness. Why? Because the Lord has work for you to do. Your season of singleness is not intended for you to sit at home and twiddle your thumbs until your future spouse knocks on your front door. God has work for you to do! God loves everyone, but I believe He has given a special grace to single men and women. We are called to be pliable, willing, obedient children. He can do more with us because we do not have the distraction of marriage. Imagine that God has given you the gift of music and He has called you to sing. When people hear you sing, sick people will be healed, deaf people will hear, blind people will see, dead people will awaken. God then calls you to travel to the nations and minister this gift He has given you. As a single person with no children or a spouse, you are more apt to go as God has instructed. As a married person, you have to consider your spouse and their profession, whether s/he will travel with you or stay home, and whether the house will be taken care of while you’re gone. Can your home survive on one income while you’re away? What if there are children? Who will provide and care for the children while you’re traveling and doing what the Lord called you to do? What about their education? Their friends? Don’t forget about the cute little puppy the family just adopted….
See how messy that scenario became?
As a single person, you should glory in the fact that you are in a place where God can call on you and you are able to go to any lengths to please Him. You are consumed with how you can please Him. If God wants you to spend the night in church before His altar, you may do so without having a spouse to consider. God is your spouse. He deserves your total, undivided attention. We are His full-time on-call agents ready to report for duty at any time. That is exciting! I keep myself preoccupied with the things that bless Him and I am always thinking of new ways to please Him. This is what He wants from us as single people. He wants us to commit to Him before He trusts us enough to give us another person to commit ourselves to.
- Why Does GOD Want Me to Be Single?
But now, thus says the Lord, who created you, O Jacob, And He who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, And I have loved you; Therefore I will give men for you, And people for your life. — Isaiah 43:1-2,4
From the beginning of time, when God created Adam, He had a desire to fellowship with mankind. He wanted a people who would love Him fiercely, although not as fiercely as He would love them, for His love is incomparable and unfailing. He wanted a people who would allow Him to be their God. God takes ownership of the people and things He loves. In this passage, God speaks possessively. “You are Mine.” This illustrates the ferocity of the love that God has for us, that He would go to any extent (and already has when He sent Jesus to the cross) to ensure that we remain His.
For you shall worship no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God. — Exodus 34:14
This is a familiar text to many, but hear the words from our God. He says that there shall be not one single god before Him, that we should worship no other god. Why? Because He is jealous. A god (or idol) is anything that dethrones God’s place in our life. What does this mean for singles? How is this significant? Since God is a jealous God He will not allow anything to come into your life that He knows will take His place in your heart. He has gone through such strenuous lengths to have our affection and He will never bless us with something that He knows will cause us to turn our backs toward Him. So, if God knows that a boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife will become an idol to you, He may prolong your season of singleness. God loves you and He wants to bless you with the desires of your heart, but not if that means He won’t be included anywhere in those plans. Pray that God’s plans for life will be the plans you want for your life.
Remember, you are His and He is particular about His children. He won’t allow anything into your life that you are unable to bear. He won’t allow anything into your life that you don’t have the grace to withstand. There is no good thing that He will withhold from those who walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11). He truly has your best interest at heart.
So, the next time you are tempted to ask, ‘Lord, why am I [still] single?’, ask Him, ‘Lord, what would you have me accomplish in my season of singleness?’
Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Psalm 37:4-5